Warning: This post contains some negative energy. If you are already in a bad mood, I recommend that you come back later.

Here is what I learnt recently: This country is going down the drain for so many intricate reasons, but the most direct downer of all is the family unit. Your family is very likely the first to bring you down if you try to differ from the norm, do something good for yourself— or, God forbids do something good for your country! As we all know, the norm is being a passive bystander wimp who does nothing. Your own family are in many cases the first to stab you in the back, and boy does it hurt!

I am not angry, no, anger will damage Me the most. I refuse to give anybody this satisfaction.

I will control my own destiny someday..someday soon…tomorrow will be Mine…

I always liked to talk to mama. Me and her are very different, but she is a very good listener most of the time. I realize now that I should stop that! I can’t trust mama with my future plans, because, like dad, she’ll do everything she can to stop me from doing anything she classifies as ‘not in My best interest’. So, like him, she can’t be trusted or befriended. My interest being defined–of course– as: anything She could have done without feeling bad or embarrassed about it, or criticized for.

Dad has a different definition of my best interest. But I noticed that their definitions, though they may differ, converge in the end on very similar courses of action. (and in the recurring incident of them not agreeing on doing what dad thinks, dad –being the Captain of the ship- calls the shot, with so many cursing and cussing to explain his point. And this name-calling is, of course, rightfully claimed by those on board the ship who would dare to oppose his supreme command in an audible manner!)


I don’t need to be harsh with her, though, and make her lose sleep at night.. I’ll go kiss her and tell her I didn’t mean some of what I said.


A was right, yet again. He told me to soothe them and tell them what they want to hear. Stupid me! I still had some wishful thinking regarding mama. My bad!

It’s alright though, I am learning.

Hope it’s not too late.